Lil Nas X is opening up about his emotional ups and downs over the past year.

On Sunday (Dec. 8), the “Old Town Road” rapper shared a vulnerable note with fans on Twitter, explaining that he’s hit some rough patches in 2019, but has also learned the importance of living in the moment.

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“i usually deal with my sad times in private because i don’t like for my fans or family to feel sorry for me,” the 20-year-old writes in his first tweet. “this year had a lot of very high ups and extremely low downs. when u get to that hotel room and it’s just you, you do a lot of thinking. small things become so BIG.”

The rapper continues, “i like to pretend hate and shit don’t get to me, but subconsciously it eats away at me. feeling like u have the world and knowing it can all go away at any time is scary. with all this being said i want anybody who cared enough to read this to just live in the moment. love u guys.”

Lil Nas X experienced a meteoric rise in 2019 with his hit viral song “Old Town Road,” featuring Billy Ray Cyrus. The song spent a record-breaking 19 weeks atop the Billboard Hot 100, surpassing Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men’s “One Sweet Day,” which first set the 16-week mark in 1995-96, as well as Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee’s Justin Bieber-featuring “Despacito” (Remix), which tied the record in 2017.

His Nirvana-sampling “Panini” and 7 EP also became platinum-certified by the RIAA.

In late September, after an exhausting year, the Atlanta native announced plans to step away from music for the time being. “It’s been a wild last 7 months and im ready to take a little time off,” he explained in a tweet.